


Sit with Me by the Lake.

by angelicas (sophluorescent)



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24519247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophluorescent/pseuds/angelicas
Summary: “If I do go there, I promise I’ll take you along,” Seulgi says. And the moment seems to hang suspended, like it’s not a possibility, but a surety.Soon, it slips away—Seulgi pulling away to splash Irene playfully, inciting a mock battle in the waves.And again, she feels like this iswhoshe belongs with. Just notwhere.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Kang Seulgi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40
Collections: Girl Group Jukebox (Round 2)





	Sit with Me by the Lake.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **GG Jukebox Round 2, inspired by False God by Taylor Swift!** I don’t listen to much Taylor Swift, admittedly, but I thought False God would be a rad song to write to. It’s cut up and disorganized, but each of the little headers pertain to lyrics or a verse in the song! I also don’t typically write about the girl groups I follow, and have tried my best despite being a little less practiced with their personalities!
> 
> Please take note of the warnings! I wouldn’t call this a healthy relationship, so if that’s something that you don’t like reading, please avoid it! This is sort of short, and the world has been extra stressful recently, but writing this was a little reprieve, so I do hope you enjoy it.
> 
> If you enjoy, please let me know via comments or kudos—I love to hear what you think. And thank you to the mods for hosting, I had a great time and appreciate all that you do! ♡

_I._

_We were crazy to think_

_Crazy to think that this could work_

_Remember how I said I'd_ _die_ _for you?_

It’s raining tonight, thudding down on her windshield in great sheets, the wind whipping up a frenzy, the waves breaking on the seawall and crashing down over the front of her car. She could almost consider it a hurricane, were the wind any stronger, the water flooding any higher. But as it was, it was merely a storm. A thunderous one, but a storm nonetheless.

The storm is an almost poetic complement to the turmoil running through her heart, her chest. A word from the heavens, if you will. A simple commiseration. When _you_ ache, so to do _we_ —all the gods and angels.

Her phone sits open in her lap, the blue light of the screen illuminating the interior of the car, casting an ugly, sickly light over her skin. Her message gleams up at her, evidence of a decision made on impulse. A decision not quite regretted, but not quite accepted.

> **01:04 Me:** i cant do this anymore. im lost. i dont know what we are.

There is a string of texts beneath that, first denial, then anger, then grief. She scrolls to see if anything’s been added. Indeed, a couple more texts lie in wait. It appears after grief, _she_ goes back to anger. Which is all fair and good. _She_ ought to be angry.

Seulgi locks her phone, lays her head back against the headrest and loses herself to the monotonous breaking of the waves, the empty wail of the wind, the heavy coursing rain. _God_ , she’s one of those assholes that breaks up with people over text.

> **03:00** **♡** **:** you swore you would give us a chance.

Seulgi stares at the new text, weighs it in her head, rolls the words around as though the more she thinks on them, the less real they’ll sound.

> **03:01** **♡** **:** why do you keep running away? why do you keep making me chase you?

Perhaps, it’s because she likes running.

Perhaps, it’s because she’s afraid of what happens when she’s finally caught.

The phone rings now. She could answer it, let Joohyun’s anger wash over her and make her feel as though her choice was necessary. But, that also opens up the chance that Joohyun can talk her out of this… whatever _this_ is. So, she leaves it, lets it ring out the three times Joohyun calls her.

But maybe Joohyun just knows her too well, or Seulgi’s just too predictable, because after another hour, when the storm is just beginning to lessen, but the skies are still a dark rolling black and flashing with lightning, headlights illuminate the interior of her car, swinging around as a car parks next to hers.

She watches with a buried sense of affection as Joohyun gets out of the driver side door, walks around the vehicle, and opens up Seulgi’s own car door. She slips inside, tiny, furious, but quiet. Joohyun’s always been capable of that serious, gentle sort of anger. The type that _tells_ you she cares. Cares enough to not want to scare you.

Her hair’s wet by the rain, her eyes tired with sleep despite the blaze of ire. Seulgi’s text must have awakened her.

“I hate how you don’t give me a chance to speak,” Joohyun start, “you just make a choice and you run without giving me a second thought.”

“I don’t owe you that,” Seulgi tries.

“Bullshit.” Joohyun’s jaw clenches, her teeth gritting together. “You owe me an explanation after all the time we’ve spent together, all of the support I’ve tried to give you. We’ve been through thick and thin. You don’t get to just _run_ and pin all the blame on me.”

Seulgi looks away, back out to the lake, to the rolling waves and the flashing lightning. “I’m not good enough for you,” she murmurs.

Joohyun shakes her head. “You _are_. I keep telling you that and you refuse to believe me!” Her voice rises towards the end of her sentence before she gets herself under control again. “I already told you that you’ve got nothing to prove to me. I only expect that you’re living for yourself, that you’re living life to the fullest. I don’t care how you get there.”

“I feel inadequate next to you,” Seulgi says a beat later. “You’re successful, well-established and I’m still… working on it.”

“So, keep working on it. You were ‘working’ on it when we first met, and it didn’t bother me then,” Joohyun murmurs, more softly now. “If it was a problem, I’d bring it up to you. We can _talk_ , we can _communicate_. You don’t have to just up and leave the second you feel doubts.”

Seulgi’s quiet. Doesn’t look at Joohyun, because she’s right. There’s no doubt Seulgi still loves her. But, her insecurities, they weigh on her. “I need time, then. I need time, and then I’ll come back. I promise.”

So, Joohyun leaves, lets her figure things out.

***

_II._

_We were_ _stupid to jump_

 _In the ocean separating_ _us_

_Remember how I’d fly to you?_

“Grab your bathing suit and a towel, and come downstairs,” Seulgi yells out the window. Joohyun looks up from watering her garden, hair waving in the breeze. She lives in a fourth-story apartment, in the middle of the city, amidst all the smog and filth. Most days, it seems to wear on her: the constant noise, the catcalls, the pollution, the stress that seems to soak their very streets. But right now, with Seulgi waiting outside, an adventure at hand, she looks _bright_ , alive.

She disappears from the window and is gone for several minutes, reappearing at the building entrance and practically skipping out to meet Seulgi in her cantankerous little car—well past its glory days, and now just sputtering along and trying its best.

But they both like the car. It has a charm to it, not to mention the hundreds of memories they’ve shared in it.

“Where are we going?” Joohyun asks, because you never know with Seulgi. It could be anywhere and everywhere. She’s free-spirited, always looking for the rush of _living_.

“Just the lake,” Seulgi replies, as though this is a let down. It’s not. Joohyun loves the lake. Loves swimming in it, loves to talk her and Seulgi’s way onto sailboats, loves to feel the wind in her hair, the sand on her feet. “I thought it’d be good to celebrate the new campaign you launched.”

Joohyun’s in marketing, and she’s damn good at it. Her newest ad campaign’s certain to be a hit, full of beautiful imagery and delicate accenting that really makes the product—a new jewelry line—stand out without being too flashy, too overt.

Seulgi’s artistry may lie in dance, in song—but Joohyun’s taken her love for the arts and put it at work in a corporate setting.

“Thank you,” Joohyun says, voice soft, proud. She’s not one to gloat over her achievements. Her pride’s always been humble. Which is why it’s up to Seulgi to celebrate her.

She leans over to turn on the radio, twisting the dial until its on a channel they both like and can sing along to. And like this, the wind from the open window whipping through her hair, and the open delight in both of their voices… this is how Seulgi wants to live, now and forever.

At the lake, the mood stays much the same. Joohyun convinced her on the way to stop so that they could pick up the ingredients for a picnic, so now, they sit on a pair of ratty, old towels, with a basket of sandwiches and juice boxes to share. It’s _nice_.

Seulgi leans back on one of her hands, sipping from the juice straw. Joohyun sits next to her, chatting to a group of girls next to them. It’d started when they complimented her cover-up (which is emblazoned with cute, cartoonish watermelons) and has since spiraled. Seulgi’s not much for the conversation, she’s happy enough to watch.

Joohyun turns back to her in time, running a smooth hand up Seulgi’s leg. “We should go swim soon, I just asked, and Sooyoung—“ she jerks her head at one of the girls she’d been talking to, ”—agreed to watch our things, so we don’t even have to walk back to the car.”

Seulgi sets her juice box down and shoots a bright smile at Sooyoung, then takes Joohyun’s hand and helps her up to her feet. “Then, let’s go swim,” she says easily, brushing off the sand that clings to her thighs, and dropping the cover-up she’s had draped over her shoulders. Joohyun mirrors her, poking her tummy playfully, and they walk into the water, squealing at the cold before settling in. It’s good to be here considering the summer heat.

It’s a complete foil to the storm weeks ago, when Seulgi almost ran.

She wonders if Joohyun’s thinking about that, too, right now. She can’t tell, not when Joohyun’s smiling so brightly, her eyes sparkling like the sunlight on the waves.

“You’re thinking too hard,” Joohyun murmurs, drawing Seulgi close and wrapping her arms around the other woman’s middle. “Stop. Just think about the here and now. It’s lovely isn’t it?” And she looks out to where the sun dazzles the water, at the distant horizon. Were the water salty, the waves rougher, Seulgi might mistake the lake for the ocean. She never can see the other coast, after all.

“It is nice,” Seulgi responds, resting her forehead against Joohyun’s and allowing them to sway with the waves, about chest deep in the water—nearly floating. She’s quiet for a few moments, staring off at the distance just as Joohyun does. “Do you ever wonder what it’s like to just _go_ there?”

“The other side?” Joohyun says incredulously, affectionate, but disbelieving. “We drive over there from time to time, you know. My parents live over there.”

“No, not like that, but just, up and going. The journey. Not necessarily stopping across the lake, but continuing on. Just… _going_.”

“I don’t,” Joohyun says simply. “I like my life here. Like my friends, and I like _you_.” She leans her head against Seulgi’s shoulder, melts against her, her heart beating against Seulgi’s chest. “But if you wanted to go, there or beyond it, I hope you’d invite me. I’d go with you.”

“If I do go there, I promise I’ll take you along,” Seulgi says. And the moment seems to hang suspended, like it’s not a possibility, but a surety.

Soon, it slips away—Seulgi pulling away to splash Joohyun playfully, inciting a mock battle in the waves.

And again, she feels like this is _who_ she belongs with. Just not _where_.

***

_III._

_And I can't talk to you when you're like this_

_They all warned us about times like this_

_They say the road gets hard and you get lost_

_When you're led by blind faith, blind faith_

Lying pillowed against Joohyun’s body, Seulgi allows herself to dream. Dream of a world where Joohyun _would_ leave everything behind to follow her. Where they could chase their dreams together. Because Joohyun may be skilled in her current career, but Seulgi’d never forget the years they spent dancing together, singing together, training together—even if they both left it behind to some degree.

Perhaps, in a perfect world, Joohyun would be willing to take the risk. Seulgi just doesn’t think this _is_ that perfect world.

Joohyun smoothes her hand down Seulgi’s back, smoothing over knots, down muscles, kneading against the little fat that’s there. It’s soothing, kind. She always seems to know when Seulgi’s mulling something over. She always seems to know what to say or do to make it seem all right.

“You’ve been quiet,” she starts, bringing her hand back up to pet over Seulgi’s hair. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Seulgi says, because she doesn’t know what else to say. Doesn’t know how to put her feelings into words. She’s lost, but doesn’t know what she’s trying to find.

Joohyun’s quiet, then, “You’re not, and that’s okay.” She says nothing more, continuing to scratch her nails along Seulgi’s scalp—gentle, comforting.

Seulgi’s phone dings with a text. Her hand reaches out and turns the screen towards herself. Joohyun can’t see the screen—but she doesn’t need to. She knows exactly what’s happened when Seulgi stiffens with barely concealed excitement.

“Good news?” She questions.

For a moment Seulgi doesn’t respond. She never told Joohyun about her plans, despite them very much affecting her. “One of my producer friends sent a track to one of their connections. I’m supposed to meet with a team soon.”

“That’s great!” Joohyun says, pleased, kneading Seulgi’s shoulders, her tone proud.

“It’s in California, though. The headquarters.” And this is the disappointment. Between L.A. and New York, she’d chosen to seek out connections on the West Coast—if only to explore a life outside of this—the smog, the city.

Joohyun’s hands fall limp as she processes the bombshell. “How long will you be gone?” She says carefully, tone guarded, careful—like she knows Seulgi’s a bird ready to fly away at the soonest scare.

“If the meeting goes well, I’ll sign there and move in to an apartment. The studio and all my resources are going to be there and I can’t afford flying back and forth.” 

Silence.

“Were you going to tell me?”

Seulgi pulls away. She can’t look at Joohyun. Her heart’s at war, half of it excited. This is what she wanted. She wanted to bring her music to the world, and now’s her chance. The other half _aches_ , because she _should_ have told Joohyun. She just didn’t, because if Joohyun hadn’t approved… it would have crushed her. At least like this, it all happens in one crushing blow. Isn’t dragged out.

“Don’t run away,” Joohyun says now, almost pleading. “Please, just, why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Joohyun’s voice is sharp, pained. “This hurts.” It does. It really does. She seems to mull over her words again, now that Seulgi’s getting dressed and retrieving her phone, purse, and keys. She’s half way to the door before Joohyun talks again. “When are you leaving?”

“A week,” Seulgi lies. It’s going to be sooner. More like three days. “You can come with me?” She tries, finally looking over to where Joohyun’s followed her into the lounge. She’s beautiful like this, soft skin on display, draped against the doorway. But she’s _sad_ , her eyes glassy, her lips pulled into a frown.

She shakes her head. “I can’t.”

Seulgi looks away, hurt, and leaves.

***

_IV._

_The altar is my hips_

_Even if it's a false god_

_We'd still worship this love_

It’s the last night she’s in New York. Joohyun’s still sure she has four more days, and Seulgi hasn’t had the heart to tell her this is it. She doesn’t want their last night together to be a fight. Especially when they haven’t talked about what happens next. Whether they’ll try long-distance, or just let things go to rest.

After all, they’re both good at taking breaks. So what if this one’s permanent.

They’ve had dinner—something romantic—and now, they sway in one another arms, illuminated by the moonlight streaming through Joohyun’s windows. On the stereo plays one of Seulgi’s demo tracks, smooth, sweet, haunting.

“I’m sorry,” Seulgi murmurs, because she _should_ apologize. It feels wrong not to.

Joohyun shakes her head, “It’s okay. You’re not really sorry,” but she says it with a smile (no matter how small). “Just let us have tonight, please.” And she tilts her chin up, waiting for a kiss that Seulgi indulges.

Their hands roam, hearts thud, and giggles tinge the air. Like this, Seulgi feels Joohyun’s love ever more clearly. Feels it as clear as the day. They continue to kiss, to tease, to dance, and when they fall into bed, it’s with laughter as sweet as candy.

Joohyun falls asleep first, fatigue pulling at her limbs, tugging her into her dreams.

Seulgi stays awake, regarding her. Brushing her hair away from her face and thumbing along her jaw. Even if this is their last night together, Seulgi’s going to immortalize Joohyun somehow. A face this pretty, a heart this genuine… it deserves music for it.

She never does sleep that night, the weight of the coming day sits on her shoulders, makes it impossible to rest.

Joohyun wakes up come morning, her hand smoothing over the sheets and finding Seulgi’s. She squeezes warmly. “Good morning,” she murmurs.

“Morning,” Seulgi replies, because what else is there to say. She ducks down, presses a kiss on Joohyun’s forehead. “You have work right?”

“Yeah, you’ll be here later, though, right?”

“I’ll be here.”

She won’t.

***

_V._

_But we might just get away with it_

_Religion's in your lips_

_Even if it's a false god_

Joohyun doesn’t call that night. Doesn’t call at all after that morning. And it hurts, it hurts so much, but this is what Seulgi gets, right? This is what happens when she runs and runs and never lets herself get caught.

She throws herself into work though, especially now that she’s been signed. But even that achievement seems dull. There’s no one she can really share it with other than her instagram followers, but even then, they are like strangers to her.

 _Joohyun._ She could have shared it with Joohyun, and Joohyun would have been so proud.

But she left her behind. She can’t expect praise from her.

Her heart still flutters when she sees the notification off of her post, though. That Joohyun’s seen it and liked it.

She doesn’t call though. And Seulgi can’t call her either. Can’t be that cruel. Can’t keep tagging her along when it’s obvious Joohyun doesn’t want to chase her anymore.

Album preparations go well. It’s going to be an acoustic album, something small to start with. Modest promotion. They’re going to take their time building her support base. With the people she has following her off of YouTube and Instagram, she has a start, but she needs more if she’s going to be successful.

Upon its release, she gets a text, the first in several months.

> **12:47** **♡** **:** if you’re going to write an album about me, the least you could do is make an effort for me. you could have treated me better. dont you ever think about how much it hurts to get left behind… every time??

She doesn’t respond, not yet. It’s too hard to come to terms with the fact that she _was_ in the wrong. That Joohyun didn’t deserve Seulgi’s leaving her. She was loyal, and Seulgi was always the one on the run.

A few weeks later, her manager’s telling her, “We’re going to set up a busking event to help you get some recognition from the general public.” So, she packs up her guitar and gets ready for the performances, warming up her vocals, running over her lyrics. She’s excited, it’ll be one of her first performances where she gets to sing her _album_. Something that came together over months of work.

She’s busked before, but now, it feels all the more real.

The night arrives quickly, and she sets up and _sings_. Some of her fans are there already, waiting curiously, happily singing along with her performance—filming her, cheering her on. It’s a lovely environment. Enough that she invites some of them to come join her at the mic, to sing along _with_ her.

It’s on the last song that a woman’s pushed forward, her head down—shy.

Seulgi’s ready to coax her over, but then she’s raising her head and it’s like time stops.

Joohyun meets her gaze steadily, takes a seat next to her, and croons the first line into the mic. She _would_ appear in L.A. just in time to sing the song Seulgi wrote about her. To sing the song where Seulgi poured out all her regrets in leaving her behind.

She joins in quickly, not to be shone up. Their voices meld and twist, blending all together. And there’s some recognition from a couple of people in the crowd—those that remember when Seulgi would duet songs with her girlfriend on her Soundcloud—but otherwise, it’s quiet as they sing.

The song comes to a close and Joohyun finally looks back over to her. “You promised you’d take me along wherever you go. Don’t leave me behind, again.”

And nothing’s fixed, but maybe it _will_ be.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, if you enjoyed reading, please do let me know via a comment, kudos, or hell, even send me a tweet! You can find me on my [writing twitter](https://twitter.com/sophluorescent) OR my [personal twitter!](https://twitter.com/syzygybbh)
> 
> Too shy to leave a comment? I have a [curiouscat](https://t.co/KYC8gCVmPh?amp=1) !


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